Yes, I know that this is the free weights room and I am a girl, but please stop looking at me like I am a nun in a bar. It makes me feel like this:
True, it is often so saturated with testosterone in here that I swear my chest shrinks a little the moment I enter the room, but, as all of you are over the age of 3, I would assume that you have had some contact with members of the opposite sex aside from family (although maybe I am giving you too much credit). The point is that a girl shouldn't be an oddity.
Yes, I know that I am lifting about 12 pounds less than your elderly great-grandfather could lift, but I am getting there. Besides, before you judge me, you might want to consider that many of you have worked your chest so much that you are beginning to resemble a goomba. Not from the Mario video games, but the movie. Here is a reference shot:
There is an ideal head to body ratio, and you are dangerously close to blowing it out of the water. It's okay to tone it down a bit.
I know that some of the weights you lift are unimaginably heavy and you have to heave and grunt like a dying elephant each time you struggle mightily to pull them off the ground. Secretly, though? I feel like you might be showing out a little. I'm not sure why you would think those noises are enticing, though. Too much Discovery Channel and not enough experience with actual women, perhaps?
Yes, I know that I am lifting about 12 pounds less than your elderly great-grandfather could lift, but I am getting there. Besides, before you judge me, you might want to consider that many of you have worked your chest so much that you are beginning to resemble a goomba. Not from the Mario video games, but the movie. Here is a reference shot:
There is an ideal head to body ratio, and you are dangerously close to blowing it out of the water. It's okay to tone it down a bit.
I know that some of the weights you lift are unimaginably heavy and you have to heave and grunt like a dying elephant each time you struggle mightily to pull them off the ground. Secretly, though? I feel like you might be showing out a little. I'm not sure why you would think those noises are enticing, though. Too much Discovery Channel and not enough experience with actual women, perhaps?
Also, it's working out. It should be somewhat enjoyable. Try not to take yourself too seriously. I don't. I threw my arms in the air when I finished my run the other day, and I caught myself dancing to "I'm Sexy and I Know It"....
Actually, maybe that's why you're all staring at me. Please disregard this last post (except the goomba thing, I definitely mean that).
PS: I can see you looking at my bum when I do squats. I know you're trying to be subtle, but there are mirrors everywhere, so good luck with that.
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